This offering might be a little different. It’s been floating around in my mind for a while wondering whether it ought to be unleashed. It’s a subject that’s been around for a while now, on which I’ve found myself yet to comment but I find it affects me greatly and I think all of us who love horses. It felt like time, so here we go...
It seems to me that most of what’s obvious about this has already been said well, time and again by people more knowledgeable and articulate than myself, so this perhaps offers a slightly different perspective and is just what comes to me...
With the Olympics edging closer, the recent Helgstrand and Parra revelations along with what we see as a general decline in the state of the professional and competitive horse world over the past number of years, I’ve found myself ever more reflective on the whole business.
I’d like to make it clear that my motivation for writing this is not about me being “right” I understand that anything I have to say is just an opinion and in that sense, it’s no more valid or important than anyone else’s.
I’m going to avoid talking about “them” and “us” but rather to all of us. Maybe someone will hear it and maybe they won’t but writing it feels like a part I can play in the role of advocate for all my fellow beings, which includes the horse.
Our mistreatment of one another, including horses has been going on for millennia. It’s nothing new. It comes from an inherent very human place in us that seeks to control, dominate, have, and impress in order for the ego to build and secure its identity in a world of uncertainty. Add capitalism into the mix and we often find ourselves in all sorts of trouble.
If in our personal corner of the universe, we find ourselves an advocate for the horse then it’s easy to look ‘out there’ and see that the modern competitive world seems to be putting its very human needs above that of the horse in ever new and more extreme ways. Somewhere along the line, the balance seems to have tipped between what we find ok and what we don’t.
For some reason, horses seem to be extraordinarily tolerant of our human inadequacies concerning our interactions with them. Years ago, I used to get really upset about this. Why don’t they just kill us? I mean they could, right? Yet in those younger hungry days, I also did some things to horses that I am not at all proud of.
I had a “need” you see, and horses would fulfil it, and when they didn’t, well, stronger bit, longer spur. It’s not something I like to re-live but let’s just say I’ve been that person.
For those of you who are in any doubt about what it takes to split a horse’s mouth or bloody its flanks…Well here goes the truth. In my younger days, I pulled with harsh bits and poked with long spurs for whole ridden sessions only to be flabbergasted that I hadn’t broken skin when I got off to tentatively look.
I never had but I don’t know how? So I KNOW how hard and long you have to do that before it begins to show, and I can say with authority that what we are seeing today are not unfortunate brief mistakes or moments in time.
And let’s assume that hyperflexion is just bad for horse’s bodies and minds shall we? I mean how much more evidence of every kind do we need? But this is the curious thing, isn’t it? For those who use these methods, they literally cannot see it and this is as fascinating to me as it is sad but also something we need to remember. Bear with me…
So I freely admit that I have mistreated horses. I could say I’d never forgiven myself but I have because as I have become older and wiser, I have come to see that not to do so doesn’t change what I did, help me learn, or serve any useful purpose, whereas part of the process of knowing better and becoming better has absolutely been about owning what I did and being honest about why I felt the need to do it.
Since I began to understand myself more in the deepest sense, I have been able to forgive, which curiously has also been part of removing the need to ever do it again. Only once we can allow ourselves to stand head-on, to see all of ourself fearlessly, are we able to then see the most wonderful thing, and that is how it never needed to be that way then, and never needs to be that way again.
Well ok, well done for admitting that Max but what’s that got to do with those people over there being cruel to horses? Shouldn’t they all burn in the firey pits hell? I don’t hear them admitting to Jack Sh*t.
Stick with me…
So why did I do what I did? Because with my current level of consciousness and thinking at that time it felt like it was my only choice for dealing with the problem in front of me or under me or indeed inside of me at that time. I then invented stories of justification, care and love and surrounded myself with others who were experiencing the same kind of “problems” in order to protect me from the lonely feeling inside that was trying to tell me it was all so wrong.
It was a painful place to be. I was lucky in many ways because by this time I hadn’t got myself so deep into an identity of being a “professional trainer” or competitor that to let it go would have felt literally like the end of ‘ME’. I wasn’t relying on horses to feed my family or keep a roof over my head, just to fulfil an immature need.
When faced with the idea of a choice, most people and I say most, not all, will choose what feels harmonious, kind and cooperative with others but when an uncomfortable problem looks like it needs a solution, we can very easily get into the game of self-bias to justify our means…
Self-bias shows up as a protective lens through which we can look at ourselves relative to what’s “out there” and find ourselves safe in the knowledge that we are right or good. What’s not useful about it is that in order to find ourselves ‘good’, something or someone else often has to be ‘bad’.
When we are championing a cause that we feel very passionate about it can be extremely challenging for self-bias not to slip unseen under the radar and in so doing have us losing sight of our cause and inadvertently making it all about ourselves and our need to feel right and good in the world. As soon as we do that sight of the cause begins receding into the background to be obscured in the haze of ‘me’.
If we are to go anyway to breaking this pattern and keeping our eye on the ball, we must not stop at only looking outward at what ‘those’ people are doing with our judgement and condemnation but further ask ourselves where in my world might I also be subject to the same innocently blind tendency’s to ‘have what I want’ and then justify the means?
If we can be brave enough to delve here for just a moment before we hurl the next abuse or begin sobbing at the unfairness of the world, then we are beginning to effect real change in the world, truly leading by example.
Only by proving to ourselves that the way to change the world is to seek that change in ourselves, Only with the bravery to seek and own what is less than shiny in ourselves can we reveal the path to kindness and healing for ourselves and others.
Our everyday actions reflect out into the world so when we speak or act in anger and frustration, no matter the subject, we are perpetuating anger and frustration in the world and it is the angry and frustrated who mistreat others.
So what do we do? Just sit back recognise our own sins, contemplate our navels for a while and hope everyone else gets our point eventually? Of course not.
I salute and deeply thank all the wonderful humans out there, tirelessly fighting for the rights of our fellow being The Horse. But let us at the same time not get so lost in the hating, blaming, persecuting, judging and grasping at what we want while we justify our means, that we inadvertently make ourselves a part of the very problem we are attempting to solve.
Pausing here a moment, I want to acknowledge that although what I’m proposing would surely have an effect on raising our consciousness over time, I’m also aware that we are in need of urgent practical solutions for the more immediate term and I’m often asked ‘Well what would you do then?’
Cruelty will always exist in the world as part of the natural balance of things. There will always be those who seek to needlessly dominate and control others and it is our duty to protect those who can’t protect themselves, so let’s all continue to do our best to educate, protest and raise awareness, and at the same time in the name of raising our consciousness as a whole, quietly go that little extra mile…
So when righteous indignation rears its head, can we take just a moment to ask ourselves ‘where have I ever been selfish in my needs above others?’ Where have I ever dominated or manipulated to get what I want? Where have I been untruthful with myself? Just for one short moment then proceed.
If you're still here, I thank you. Let’s go out into the world and do what we can do, speaking and sometimes shouting our truth with kindness. Let’s be the example. Let's be the person we are asking “them” to be.
Let's be more than just another angry voice.
This post can also be viewed in the latest issue of Concordia International Equestrian Magazine along with lots of other great articles. https://concordiaequestrians.org/magazine/
Maxine Kemp is a classical riding trainer and transformative life coach based in East Suffolk UK who is dedicated to simplifying and demystifying the journey to greater peace well-being and empowerment for humans and their horses.
"It’s not supposed to be that difficult."
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